It's the season to be destructive lalalalalallalla
by Death's little side kick
Summary: How do they G-boyz and I celebrate christmas without mayhem? Answer, we tend to celebrate it WITH mayhem, OH THE INSANITY THAT RULES. A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL,though i didnt post it on 25, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW , *~chapter 3 is up, CHAPTER 3 IS UP~*
1. Decorations! sounds safe

Death's li'l side kick or I came up with a stupid code name 'Raven' honestly; I got tired of writing death's li'l side kick over and over again, so from now on I'll use my code name. 

Duo: why don't you just tell us who you are? (Hangs, a mistletoe) [Decorations going on you know]

Raven: be quite, anyway MERRY CHRISTMAS, this fic includes me too. I wanted it to be posted on 25 December but one day late wouldn't hurt would it?

Wufei: Slacker!

Raven: Oh wow Wufei learnt a new word!

Heero: No mission, no investigation, no nothing! (He cried from behind his laptop)

Raven: Face it Heero, you will be sitting idle this holiday.

Heero: NOOOOOOOO

Wufei: Hey Duo what does Slacker mean anyway?

Duo: -_-* Wufei your hopeless.

_Prologue_

"Okay Quatre you're cooking" a sigh of relief could be heard.

"Heero you're gonna decorate the door's, Trowa you that window, and Wufei and I'll do the tree" I said giving out the orders.

"Just who are you to push us around and give us orders" Heero snapped, leaning against the wall.

'Let's put it this way, SOLDIER" I said in a militaristic manner, more like Lady Une.

"YOUR MISSION IS ENJOYING YOUR SELF, AND DECORATING THE DOORS. NOW GO! GO! GO!" he scampered off, "Well anyone else"

"Yeah could I decorate Nataku?" Wufei said.

"Sure, no problem inviting a Gundam into holiday festivities" I said. Going into the kitchen, something like lips touched my cheeks, like octopus sucking on something. I let out an ear splitting scream as I saw a braid swish in front of me.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GET HIM OFF ME, GET HIM OFF" I cried pushing the infernal being off. My hand, well the side of it, struck the being's chin sending him to the floor.

Raven: O_O*

Duo: X_X

_Presenting a Christmas special_

_It's the season to be destructive lalalalalalalalala_

The G-boys and I were decorating Quatre's huge mansion. Duo was tied up in a chair, with bandages on his chin, so that no trouble would encounter us, and possibly no kissing could be done, yeah he was the guilty man, not the Lady's man. I asked for the removal of all mistletoes from the house. He kept pouting and looking around helplessly. Poor guy! Quatre was in the kitchen fixing the Christmas dinner. He agreed to cook on one condition. No Duo! We selected him this time as our taste buds burnt when last time Trowa cooked. He loves Mexican. Our tender taste buds were destroyed once we tested his hot and sour crispy tacos. Quatre would a nice change of pace. As for Duo, we never let him in the kitchen. Heero, Trowa and I were hanging the decorations; I was doing the tree, Trowa the windows and Heero his laptop?

"Hey Heero, get back on the job" I said

"Omae o korosu" He said.

"My someone's really happy" I said sarcastically.

He went back on doing his job, which was the decoration of doors. He mumbled and grumbled and left his laptop after admiring his work. 

"So the guest should be here any minute" I said.

"Guests" They all said peeping from their respective places.

"Yeah, don't expect me to spend this holiday cooped up with you guys so I called in some recruits" I said sheepishly trying to ignore the various death glare's, not from Quatre.

"Oh come on! It's only Relena, Hilde, Catherine, Sally, Dorothy" 

"DOROTHY" Quatre cried from the kitchen now giving me a death glare too.

"Yeah that's just about all!" I lied, which was clearly written all over my face. And they knew. They knew me darn well.

DING! DONG!

"Hey merry Christmas you guys" Relena, Hilde and Catherine came in saying. They set all of the heaps of presents and more decorations on the floor. 

"Looks like this place could use a feminine touch" Relena said. And so the girls including me set to work. Something in Duo's mind clicked, "presents" He thought with a childish grin appearing.

Quatre looked over to see if Duo was okay, he was staring with gleaming eyes on the bright, colourful wrapped boxes. But before the well- meaning Quatre could warn the girls of Duo's sudden attack, he broke through the ropes and yelled

"PRESENTS"  he was stopped in mid air by the sight of the cockroach brow.

"Touch them and I'll seduce you" She said dangerously. With a yelp Duo scampered of to the kitchen. The other's sweat dropped as Dorothy was about to begin her maniac laughter. 

"Mwahahaah" She went. But before she could do any more harm to our ear drums I told her to stop for the sake of…uh…for the sake of…wait I have to think over this one (ponders) Oh yeah!...for the sake of Quatre, who she blew a kiss to, which left us all sick. As Quatre moaned at the blown kiss, she sighted something above the kitchen door, could it be! Yes it was! There was a God after all, she ran at top speed towards the unfortunate Quatre and smothered him with kisses beneath what, the mistletoe. Duo grinned; Heero looked dangerously at Relena who was smiling at him, mischievously.

 "Don't you dare get any ideas" he growled.

"Oh come on, it won't hurt" she said playfully, but Heero had run off…again.

Anyway, Wufei looked nauseated, and went to barf in the bathroom. Trowa had snuck into the kitchen to see what Quatre cooking is tasted like. He took a sip of the hot and sour soup he was making. It was too plain, a dishonour to the great art of hot and sour soup. Just to spice it up he took out a hot Tabasco sauce bottle.  He was careful to put in a few…or rather lots of large spoonful of it. He tasted it…

"Perfect" He said with victory, whistling he went away, hands in his pockets, fiddling with the bottle. Dorothy was still…ahem…on Quatre in a way, I came up to pull her of the poor suffocating pilot, really, he was going blue. I finally managed to get her off.

"Next time get a room' I said angrily.

"What a wonderful idea, let's get a room now" She said seductively. (New word I discovered)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" He cried running into the kitchen and locking it.

"Dorothy you can…uhg…do what ever you want to after helping us decorate the house" I replied.

"Okay" she said returning to her respective place. We heard a yell from eh far of corner, Heero was hanging upside down by one of the long rope – like – Christmas decoration. Relena had made a trap. Wait a minute. RELENA HAD MADE A TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, for Heero, What was becoming of this world?

"RELENA LET ME DOWN NOW!" he yelled into her ears which had no effect on her whatsoever.

"Oh come on it's just a little kiss" she said, fully determined to carry out what Dorothy had done to Quatre.   

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Heero screamed at the top of his lungs

(A/N: I just love making people scream

  Duo (With a sour throat says): why don't you scream for a change

  Raven: Well I did in the beginning.

  Wufei: You call that a scream

  Raven: No I call it a girlish yell

  Wufei: Exactly)

Raven: What will happen to Heero, will he survive?

Duo: Well he survived when he detonated his Gundam, so yeah, he's a strong guy

Wufei: Duo when will you learn, being in the company of females can be mentally disorientating and physically harmful.

Raven: Anyway, the most important of all, what will happen to our taste buds, will they survive Quatre's killer cooking

Duo: What do you mean survive killer cooking?

Raven (twiddles thumbs): Oh nothing

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT FAN FIC OF

_It's the season to be destructive lalalala…._

Wufei: We get it already


	2. Crazy Quatre! major trouble

Raven: yay I finally got an idea to continue my fanfic.

Duo: What did you mean by Killer cooking?

Raven: Trust me, you don't wanna know.

Wufei: you still didn't answer me Duo, what does slacker mean

Duo: Where did you hear that word from?

Wufei: I was watching back to the future!

Duo: Here's an advice, open a dictionary and find out,

Wufei: Thanks

Duo: Of course! How else will you learn?

_Christmas special_

_It's the season to be destructive lalalalalalalalala_

 Raven: Where did I leave of? Oh yeah!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Heero cried upside down, all the blood was flowing to his brain, and he felt like strangling Relena for doing this to him. He couldn't believe…as Wufei says…the weak onna did this to him.

"KISS ME!!!!!!!!!!!" Relena shouted with a dangerous tone.

"Oh this looks like fun" Dorothy remarked "Duo are you…"

"Wayyyyyyyyyy ahead of you Dorothy" He said holding a camcorder and recording the scene. Fortunately…for Heero and unfortunately for Relena…the rope broke and he fell down. He ran off, followed by Relena who was far off followed by Duo who kept recording the whole scene, which was priceless. Trowa was finished with the decorations, the tree was almost finished, but due to my little height, Trowa had to place the little Silver Star on the tip of the tree. 

"OH NO!!!! YOU COWARD" Relena yelled from far of, Duo laughed hysterically and said

"Now Relena, that is a strictly forbidden area for girls, unless you want to ruin your reputation." He said with glee.

Heero, the clever one laughed mockingly at Relena who was standing out side his hiding place, which was……………the boy's bathroom, written in bold at the door, by Quatre to keep Dorothy out.

"Can Quatre and I get a room now; I'm done with the decorations" Whined Dorothy.

(A/N: How disgusting can I get, not my normal type of fanfictions)

"NO! No Dorothy, do it some other time let poor Quatre enjoy Christmas" I said.

"BECAUSE IT MAY BE MY LAST ONE" Quatre yelled from the kitchen. A series of delightful smells could be…smelled. (^_^) This of course triggered of the Shinigami food detector.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD" Duo yelled from who knows where. Quatre chained and locked the kitchen, he pressed a button which revealed a metal door closing in on the wooden door for protection, while a speeding Maxwell, travelling at the speed of a bullet, hit his brake's…………well at least he tried to…Duo couldn't stop, the door coming nearer every second and still he showed signs of no stopping….

SCREEEEEHHHHHHHHCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH….CRASH… (Sickening cracks)

Duo crashed into the door and behind him were screech marks on Quatre's ever so neat marble floors. 

"H…help…me" Duo said in a barely audible voice. Trowa went over to the flattened pilot, peeled him off the metal door revealing Duo's body outline imprinted on the metal door. It took a while for him to recover. And when was that? When Quatre said opening the door

"Dinner's served"

The eyes of the pilot of 02 came to life as those magical words were said. Heero mumbled something from the bathroom with a really, growling angry stomach demanding nourishment._ Feed me! Feed me! It said._

"Oh Shut up" he grumbled

"You're gonna have to come out sometime" Relena interjected from outside. She was currently holding a baseball bat, so if Heero tried to escape, she'd knock him out!

"Hehehe" she exclaimed at her………uhg…. **_brilliancy!!!! __(O_O)_**

Heero looked around helplessly in the bath room which was getting colder by the second.

"Damn, why did I have to wear spandex today" he moaned. "Damn woman!" Then a light bulb lighted on his head, there was no possible place in this house that Duo wouldn't keep his supply of food in, he opened every compartment of the bathroom. 

'Think like an idiot Yuy' said a little Heero appearing on his left side. "Well how do you do that" he asked his inner voice. His inner voice replied 'Come on you've been in the company of Duo like for Two years and more, think' was all he said after disappearing.

While in the living room everyone was feasting on delicious meals…especially our favourite Duo, who was demolishing everything and choked, Trowa helped him and after that he calmed down.

Meanwhile Heero was still thinking, sitting in the position of the statue of the 'Thinker'

Something clicked in his head; Maxwell wouldn't want Quatre to find his prized possession right. And since Quatre hates dirty places…so…Heero bent down from the place he was sitting, 

"THE DRAINAGE OF COURSE" he said. After what was like 30 minutes he took out a  plastic bag…huge plastic zipper bag…and cleaning himself a bit he settled down to eat. Glad his attempts were not futile, Duo was careful enough for the hygiene of his food,

(A/N Yeah it was neat and clean and not expired either, don't ask me in which drain he hid it in, or how he hid it)

Heero unzipped the bag of goodies and to his relief there also were some comics, Archie comics. 

"Duo, you're a life saver" He said as he started munching on some chips. (Lucky him)

Meanwhile chaos was approaching as everyone poured the "Killer" soup. Before that Duo forced Quatre to drink some wine, which Quatre thought was alcohol free, but it was not as Duo had made some…Ahem…with some respect… alterations. Quatre didn't trust him but instead he took a sip of his soup.

"AHHHHHHHH FIRE! FIRE!" He said running around, he drank what ever came into his reach…in easy words, and he drank the alcoholic wine. Meanwhile Relena gave up, she had heard a commotion, but afraid that her Heero will escape, she didn't leave, but her stomach was forcing her to. She came into the dining room, and saw Quatre staring at everyone with a scary drunken expression. Duo looked at his soup and pushed it away.

"YOU DARE NOT EAT MY SOUP, I WILL KILL YOU MWAHAHAHAHA" he laughed his psychotic laugh, like in episode 21. Everyone sweat dropped with an expression saying oh shit!

What will happen to Heero, will he ever get out, will Dorothy and Quatre ever get a room, and will relena accomplish her mission. What will Duo do now that he has become the craze Quatre's target? Find out in the next chapter of

_It's the season to be destructive…_

Wufei: YOU DARE SAY LALALALAALLA I WILL KILLYOU       

Raven: Hey I totally forgot about you where were you?

Wufei: enjoying Christmas with Nataku

Raven: Sheesh, how romantic can you get!

Wufei turned red.


	3. The peaceful end?

Raven: Yayyyy, I'm back again

Duo: So we noticed

Raven: Wufei why do you have that rolled up newspaper with you?

Wufei: From my knowledge, rolled up newspaper hurts like hell. And in case you say Lalalalalalalalala

Raven: Well you just said it yourself

Wufei [stunned]: KISAMA!!!!!!! [Starts running after me, with trusty newspaper]

_Presenting the long ago passed Christmas special_

_It's the season to be destructive lalalalalalalalala_

"AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Quatre laughed in his crazy Quatre mode. [Think eps.21]

"Ohh! Now that's the manly Quatre I know" Dorothy said looking specifically at Relena in a look that said I – kissed - my – guy - and - you – did - not. Meanwhile Heero continued freezing in the bathroom, chattering and eating his chips. 

"Must get out, ignore Relena, get Wing Zero and go to space" He said to himself, he picked himself up and looked around to see no Relena, just some weird noise like Physco Quatre laughing. He decided to check it out after wearing some clothes. CLOTHES that is. In the dining room Quatre was ordering everyone to eat, who didn't have a choice as they were tied to their chairs, except the little ladies, Quatre hadn't gone 100% mad, he still had some decency let, but for Duo it was a living nightmare, his chest and legs was tied to the chair so that he wouldn't run. His arms free so that he could eat, and worst of all Quatre was holding a gun to his head to make sure he ate. Trowa didn't complain as for Wufei, he was uneasily looking at the boiling horrors of the horror soup. Heero came in dressed like everyone. 

(Duo: What were we wearing?

  Raven: I didn't tell oh well)

Quatre was in a light blue suit and Duo in black (as usual making him look cool), Wufei and Trowa in grey. Heero was wearing navy blue suit [OOOOHHHH!!!!]. Relena passed a toothy grin to Dorothy, which clearly stated 'My – guy's – looking – better – and – is – more- good looking – than – yours'. 

"What's with the boyfriend fight" Hilde asked Catherine who apparently was also noticing this.

"Don't know but its interesting" she replied.

"It's a fight for the best" I commented. 

"Okay so everyone's here" Quatre said in his sweet tone. By that time Zechs and Noin had also arrived, I went to receive them and warn them about the Zero system - infested Quatre.

"Oh Goody, I missed what had happened in space so now I get to see the real crazy Quatre" Zechs said, but Noin gave him a dirty look that shut him up.

 Noin just took a seat next to Hilde, Catherine and me. Zechs had settled down next to Heero and stared at unfortunate Duo.

"Zechs it's rude to stare" Duo said, not happy with the idea that he was something on display.

"Zechs, you do have Epyon with you right" Heero asked

"Yeah, from my past experiences with you guys I might need it, I also told Noin to bring along her Taurus suit" he replied.

"Could you do me a favour" he asked in his usual monotone voice.

"Yeah" Zechs said

"Keep Relena away from me" he said

"Well that's one thing even an elder brother can't do" Zechs said smiling

"What about the Lightning count" Heero said

"Nope"

"Gundam pilot" 

"You kidding Heero" Zechs said looking at him. "She's even dangerous that the Zero system"

Heero looked at Relena who smiled at him; he banged his head against the table. Looking at the tied up Duo I complained

"Duo what in the name of the devil possessed you to save Relena?" I said.

"Oh sure blame me for everything!" Duo said

"Maxwell you moron, this is your fault, if you didn't have to act hero, Relena would be dead by now" Heero said angrily

"Yeah I'm beginning to regret I saved her" Duo said.

"LETS EAT" The still crazy but a wee bit sober Quatre said. Everyone took a sip and at the same time, ran to the kitchen to get water. Duo, who was stuck and at gunpoint, was sniffing and almost finishing the tissue paper box. Trowa was not complaining and still kept devouring the soup at high speed. Heero and Wufei's faces had turned beet red because of all the Tabasco sauce contents in the soup. Zechs and Noin were surprisingly not affected. Relena and Dorothy emptied the wine bottle, Hilde Catherine and I dumped ours in a nearby plant. So all was well

(YEAH RIGHT!)         

"Hey Quatre why don't have some of this, you made it though" Zechs said. Quatre glares at Duo who starts to grin. Quatre takes a sip of his soup and…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he cried, 

"HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! WATER! WATER! WATER!" runs around in the room and goes into the bathroom and drowns himself in the cool water. Steam could be seen coming out of the bucket. All the water evaporates. Quatre came back very angry, but not crazy, and started to glare at everyone……………again.

"Alright" he said calmly "Who swiped the soup" his first looks turned to Duo but then he remembered he was tied up all the time, Trowa looked around innocently, until Heero came to a conclusion.

"Quatre who likes hot stuff around here" he said questioning the blond.

"Who likes hot stuff? TROWA" He said looking around to see the brown haired boy, who smiled sheepishly back at him.

"Well it was a dishonour to the great art of hot and sour soup" He said.

"I think it's good" Zechs said, but everyone threw him a dirty look, so he shut up. 

"Can we have the main course" Duo said, who was eager to get rid of the soup. The rest of the dinner continued without havoc, and Duo nearly swallowed all the ice – cream, which rested the spiciness. All was fine until Relena remembered that she had an unfinished job. 

Quatre had urged everyone to put their plates in the kitchen themselves as the servants were on a holiday. Relena took this opportunity as I noticed she had her eyes fixed on the mistletoe.

"Why am I getting the déjà vu" Duo said rubbing his chin.

 Heero was entering the kitchen when Relena attacked. Mayhem again ensued.

"AHHHHHHHHHH GET HER OFF ME" Heero said as Relena hung on to him, her grip wasn't strong as Dorothy's. Which reminded Dorothy of something very important?

"Come on Quatre, let's get a room" she said dragging the blond towards one of the mansion's rooms.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" came a cry from Heero

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" came a cry from Quatre  

They both left for the hanger's where the Gundams were.

"Well somebody's gonna have to take room with me" Dorothy said fuming. The mansion was empty within a matter of seconds.

_Later somewhere far off at an Air force base._

"Commander there are two unidentified flying objects leaving earth and heading towards the colonies six times the speed light" Soldier #1 said.

Raven: Finally it's finished, for those of you who do not know what the U.F.O's were, they were Wing Zero and Sandrock, later followed by, Deathscythe, Nataku, Heavyarms and Epyon. So it's a happy ending.

"OMAE O KOROSU" Dorothy yelled. 

"DOROTHY, mind your language" I said.

Raven: So this is the end of

_It's the season to be destructive ……………_

Wufei hovers overhead with trusty newspaper.

Raven [looks for an opportunity]: Lalalalalalalalala

Wufei: KISAMAA, I WILL GET YOU YET


End file.
